What is your TRUTH?

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things. Well, this verse is in the Bible for a reason. It is a reminder that one must carefully endeavor to think on things that give us life. Recently, I attended a conference where a Christian neuro scientist gave a lesson of the importance of thinking about our thinking. I hadn't considered such a simple concept before, hmm, you mean, I need to consider what I'm thinking or meditating on? interesting So, I bought the book, bought the journal, and began a journey to detox any toxic thinking. If you know me personally, you know that I have experienced anxiety and fear throughout my life. I found myself always sucumbing to terrible thoughts, expecting the worse, envisioning some horrible trauma or loss. Fear, anxiety, phobias plagued me, controlled me. They were killing me, destroying my peace, my joy, and any sign of life. I was on the path of destructive thinking and didn't even know it. But then I learned there was hope, hope to change and "renew" my thoughts. Thoughts such as, WHY do I expect the worst? WHY am I so terrified of something horrible happening to me or someone I love? WHY do I think that God is going to allow some horrific death to take me out? WHY am I so ashamed of me? WHY do I feel so worthless and unwanted? WHY am I so insecure? WHY did my life turn out this way? Why this and why that. I could answer some of these rather quickly, well, let's see, I probably don't trust God truly loves me or that His desire really is to keep me and bless me. OK, so now what? Well here's the problem. That answer sounds good and it may even be true, but WHY do I feel that? There is a deep, long, healthy root to an unhealthy thought in my brain that has become one of my core beliefs about myself. Deep inside, I believed the lie that I'm worthless and that no one really cares for me or values me at all, not me, not God, not anyone. This was the lie that became my truth. Why would my dad leave me when I was so young, he just threw me away, to fend through life, alone, afraid, insecure. Why would my grandma be my emotional and verbal abuser, reminding me almost everyday, what a dummy or "mensa" I was, and how I was a stubborn donkey, and usually a disappointment at the things she tried teaching me. It just was not good enough. Ever. Hence, these lies were slowly becoming my truth. As I began to consider my thoughts, God began (and continues) unveiling the way my negative thinking was hurting me. God help me! It's truly amazing how impacting and destructive a negative upbringing can affect a person. And to undo the lies is a journey, but one loooong, hard journey that I am going to take one step, one day, one experience, one tear, one prayer, one thought at a time. Toxic thinking meet your end! What about you? Perhaps there are a few lies that have become your truth. I encourage you to take a moment and consider why you do what you do, why you react how you react, why so much insecurity, or jealousy, or anger, or depression, or like me, such fear, such worry? and the list continues... May the Lord reveal to us all the UNTRUTHS that we believe as truth and may He grace us with the faith to believe and apply His TRUE TRUTH to our lives, amen.